Oh my dearest if only I could tell you how I feel. I try and I try but the words elude me. The minute I try, the words forming in my head seem small and useless compared to the feeling inside.
I feel like a balloon deflating, my language and words escaping every time you come near. I wish I could unblock this and just tell you how I feel and what I wish for us.
The way you look at me with your incredibly beautiful blue eyes makes me forget everything I ever was and makes me want to be a better person.
Just the word Love doesn't quite describe what I feel. It's just so intense, mind- blowing, numbing... It fills me up to a point I can't feel any more inside, but it keeps building up until I feel I'm going to explode. At this point talking is nearly impossible and I just want to hold you and cry.
You still stun me with you directness. I envy that, but maybe I can learn.
Sometimes I doubt if I made the right decision years ago. Should I've given in to what I felt then? Would I be less hurt the past years if I had? Or would we've grown apart rather than together?
I've been doubting myself all my life, never believing in myself making the right decision, but for the first time I can proudly say I know for sure I did right.
There is so much going on at the moment, I have difficulty figuring out what is relevant and what is not.
I need to write as much as needed to get my head sorted out again.
And now all that needs my attention is my soup and focusing on the last few days of my vacation.
- Cinderella out
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