Hello. Remember me? It's been 4 years since I wrote on here I just saw.

Well, I'd like to share something with you now. I wish I could say it is happy news. But I just feel sad. I feel lonely and unlovable. And I'm not too sure why.

Stuff happened. Life happened. Nothing out of the ordinary I suppose.

It just seems to me lately that people seem to care less and less about each other. Or maybe just about me in particular, not sure. Everyone just seems so absorbed in their own stuff and their own screens, that they just don't look around anymore. Don't seem to notice the world up close. The large world, the large news, yes. That's everywhere. But the world and people closest to me seem the furthest away. 

I long for connecting with the people I love. The most and closest contact I have with them is sharing videos on Instagram. It's just sad to me. 

Whenever I reach out, I feel shut down. People will say one thing and do another thing completely. I don't get it. I just want to keep the people that I love close to me. But the closer I want to be to someone, the further they seem to drift.

I long for joy in life. Just simple enjoyment. Not all this pain and disappointment. 

Why is it so difficult to be human? All these emotions, all this technology. All the worry and heartbreak. I long for simpler times. There is something so wonderful about writing a letter to someone who you feel so close to. 

I don't have an identity crisis. I think I have a time crisis. I really, very much dislike the time I live in. Just send me back to before telephone, before cars. I know life wasn't easy back then either. But it was simpler at least. You found our news months after something happened, so usually there was nothing you could do about it anyway. But now, news is almost instant. Anyone has an opinion about it and wants to be heard. People killing people over stuff said on the internet..... The world had gone mad. And it's just not fun anymore.

But go on we must. And hope that things will get better. I don't want to feel depressed and sad an unloved and unwanted. I want to have fun and soar and roar and dance and sing.... Sometimes it's just hard to feel the positivity. But I have to believe that things will get better. 

So here's to happiness and world peace and loving the people around us ❤️