How can I hate you and miss you at the same time? It's so annoying! 

Howl's Moving Castle

 I have just finished watching Howl's Moving Castle. I think I just realized this might be my all time favorite movie. Ever since the first time I saw this I feel in love with it, and Howl, obviously.

I don't think there's anyone in my life who understands my love and slight obsession for other worlds and other lives. Whenever I am reading a book, or watching a movie, I can identify with a character so much, I can feel their feelings and dream their dreams. This makes it so that I can escape my own life for a while.

I often wonder, is this really all there is to life? Just this moving from day to day, every day until we die. What is the purpose of our being on this world? 

In a book or a movie, at some point, a goal will be presented and the main character will have to overcome hardships and achieve the goal. Usually followed by a happy ever-after. But no one ever shows what happens after that. What does a happy ever-after look like?  How does one know it is a happy ever-after, and what makes it happy? How does everlasting happiness even look like or feel like? No one seems to know. And people keep telling me that everlasting happiness is not realistic nor healthy. 

I wonder, where does my obsession with fantasy come from? Why do I feel the need to escape my real life and fly off to some pretty world? 

I guess I'll never find out. I'll just fly off and dream of other worlds with perfect fantasy people.