The thing on my mind these last few days has a lot to do with color. The color green mostly. Look outside, isn't it beautiful!? All the trees have got fresh new leaves and the breeze blowing through them is just wonderful. And I sit inside looking out. Yay, allergies. But I don't want to get into that at this moment.
I just want to write down my ponderings about the amazing colors and beauty this world holds.
When thinking about beauty, so many wonderful pictures come to mind when I close my eyes. What saddens me about all this, is the fact that I can hold so little of this beauty, so little of it is actually mine. And what is mine, I usually refuse to share with anyone. The word coming to mind here is jealousy. Which I consider an issue of mine. I can be happy with all the beauty in my life, but after some time I seem to grow bored of it all and want something new. I tend to observe other people and decide they have what I want and I grow jealous. I can sit around hating myself for this, but that won't be of much use to anyone. So I write.
Back to colors it is then, and of course something about love, which I can't not write about somehow. Because the color red and love are linked. Red can be found in different shades of course, but when thinking about the color red one usually thinks about bright red, flashing color. Flashing bright red, heart shaped or otherwise. I have come to appreciate the color red since some time now. I used to be all about greens (still am) and pink and purple and the occasional blue, but now it's all about red.
Red is the color of the Muladhara chakra, the first chakra. I used to have trouble connecting to it. But it's a lot better now. It contains the survival instinct and the need to feel safe. It's also what helps you ground yourself well. In this changing part in my life, do I seek safety in places which I know will not provide?
My fantasy seems to be running away with me lately. I'm having issues keeping grounded, would rather flow away on this feeling.
My strong chakra is my heart chakra, Anahata, which is green. My love is my strength. My ability to love unconditionally.
So then, what do these two have to do with each other? I don't have the answer. Just a feeling. I can't explain my attraction to red lately. Whilst sitting in my green room, I'm looking out of the window at all the green in my world. It makes my heart jump.
I'm afraid, I admit. This new sensation makes the foundation of my whole being rumble. The foundation that I have been trying to steady the last few years.
I have to keep strong, keep myself moving in the right direction. I will make the right decisions.
I will follow my green heart.
