Part 2: staying sane

Alright. So I managed to regain my sanity, thank you for starting to talk to me again. Which presents a whole new problem for me. Which I shall call my overenthusiastic personality. I always dive in head first and think later. You've raised more than just sexual curiosity. You're mysterious. And mysteries scream at me to get unraveled. So now, instead of the panic I felt yesterday, my head is filled with questions. And I have to stop myself from firing them at you all at once. My head is so full I feel like it's going to explode. I have to stop myself from thinking for a second to actually figure out what it is that I am thinking. There's a whirlwind going on in my mind that makes it hard to function. I know what I need to clear this up. Which is info enough to make a complete picture in my head. 

I want to get into your head, under your skin. And I know I'm good at that. And I'm not proud of it. But since you got into my head, and the rest, I haven't been able to get you out. I've tried. Doing other things, trying to occupy my day with other stuff. Enough to do, I have a lot to do! But somehow I seem to end up in bed, cuddling the pillow that still smells like you. 

I honestly don't know what is happening to me, and I've never felt like this before. A pretty big part of me is terrified that you'll read this and it'll scare you away. And fucking hell, I wouldn't blame you! I'm convinces that the inside of my mind is not a pretty place, and I should know, I live there. 

What irks me most is the wall I keep running into. (it is a miracle I don't have a headache...) 
The fact that I can see it when you've been checking your phone. And haven't responded to me or sent me anything. I keep telling myself not to push to hard. Give some space, I keep telling myself. Take some time. Take it easy. Well, let me tell you something, that's not how I bloody work! I dive headfirst into walls and then start to wonder where the BONK came from and why it hurts. Hello and welcome in my whirlwind....

The one think that stops my thinking is dancing. And tomorrow I will go to a party. Which is in the city where you live. So naturally that makes my head think and make little plans again. Don't need to tell you what that involves.  

                                                                - Zap Poof Whoosh-