Ramblings, as per usual

 I just noticed that all my latest posts are about you. Why can't I be free of you? Why are you still in my thoughts and dreams?

I dreamed about you. You just showed up at my house one day, with your 6 year old son. Craziest dream, but awesome at the same time. You were so happy. Such a proud dad. I hope with all my heart that this will be in your future ❤️

I still hope you'll get back in touch with me some day. If only so that I can explain what happened before and why. 

I don't think you've ever realised what you mean to me. And sometimes I wonder if you cared at all. I somehow feel that "online" doesn't mean the same to you as "real". Although some people online are trolls and just laughing at others, most people out there are on the Internet for rather more serious reasons. And the fact that we find them funny or pitiful doesn't mean that their intentions are so. For instance, I'm part of a cat group on Facebook. Just because I thought that would be fun. In reality there seem to be a lot of really dumb people asking help with the cat related issues. Most of the time I think it's really silly and useless stuff to take all that time to put a question up on Facebook, when just googling the answer, or calling the vet for advice, would be so much quicker and way more efficient!

Not sure why I went into that rant, it's just something that's been bothering me a while. I may have to exit that Facebook group. Seems like it annoys me rather a lot more than I realised.

How do people cope with all these emotions and feelings anyway? It's exhausting. I've only recently learned that I am an introvert. And that a lot of the things I experience are not as weird as I thought they were. A lot of people experience the same things! I wish I found Instagram years ago. There is a lot on there that helps me make sense of who I am and the world around me.